Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
