its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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