Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
