the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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