Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
