Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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