Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm always down for nudity.
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