I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
