the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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