We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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