I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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