he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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