omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
