he puts the penis in happiness.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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