He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
