Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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