Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
