I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
