well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
