my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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