I hate your face
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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