If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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