Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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