think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
