He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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