i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
