so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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