So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
