OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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