I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
