Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
