my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
