I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
