Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
