forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
