the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
