This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Im part way to drunk.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
