Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
