what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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