I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
