True but thats because hes a fetus.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
