i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
