He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
