brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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