her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
