I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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