Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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