watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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