Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
