I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
