you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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