Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
