Heybabeimwearingurpanties
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
