Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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