they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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